Difficulties in relation with a growing child

Conflict between generations to some extent is something natural and beneficial. It is helpful in reshaping roles in family, to redefine rules and boundaries to make children able to function as they grow into adulthood, able to care about others, responsible people.
Some differences between people are always visible obstacles to their contact and always hinder communication. Differences connected with generations are one of this kind. Communication and conflict resolving between generations is never easy, but is necessary.

But there are a few reasons, which could make conflict between generations harder than before.
Nowadays, contacting people is apparently easier than ever, the world seems to be smaller and some barriers between people seem to disappear. You can connect with people from all over the world very easily, even if they live far away. However this contact also highlights differences and at the same time life has not perhaps, prepared us to tolerate such differences. This lack of toleration results in increasing levels of conflict.

Also once fashionable permissive parenting as well as too strict and regimented style of bringing up children, could be a source of stress and later life troubles. For example both permissive and strict parenting now is considered as potential causes of depression. When parenting is too permissive it can lead the child to believe nobody cares. When it is too strict, the child can think that they are bad people and don’t deserve love. The strong conviction that nobody cares or “I’m bad person, who doesn’t deserve love” can result in serious depression or other maladaptive ways of experiencing yourself, the world and other people.

But where should boundaries be set?

In current times we are not sure anymore. Everything is changing very fast: technologies, ways of communications, customs and general rules in relationships. Some of us, both parents and children, can’t keep up and start to feel lonely and lost. Loneliness, feeling of abandonment and loss generate stress. Sometimes it could result in symptoms like for example anger, sleeping problems, dangerous habits, anxiety and depression in both parents and children.

1C1057.hires